July 17, 2008...9:49 pm

Performance Related Pay

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It’s just past midnight but wordpress is insistent that it is eleven so whilst I am writing this on the eighteenth I am sure it will be posted under the wrong date. This means that I am technically eighteen but wordpress will need some more persuasion. Good riddance seventeen, you were a load of shite. If I had a performance related pay meeting based on the events of this year I would get no bonus, in fact it was so disastrous that I would probably have to give them money in the form of compensation.

Things that were crap last year was not being discharged from CAMHS however much I begged or refused to comply. Having two hospital admissions with a subsequent diagnosis of bipolar just as the important things at school were being taught for the exams. Not managing to do any coursework or to sit all of my exams. Saying goodbye to someone who supported me a lot during my time at school. And the good things were sitting some exams when people had written me off and thought I was too ill to go to school. Finding, the blogging world through Mental Nurse and Seaneen. Finishing sixth form and having a lovely long holiday. Right I think that’s enough thinking (my CPN has told me to limit the amount of time I think about one topic to an hour to try and stop over thinking).

What’s to look forward to now I am eighteen; university if I get the grades and the exam boards accept my application for special consideration and understand my lack of coursework, I can legally buy alcohol making it a lot easier to go out with friends, I will be discharged from CAMHS (even if it is just to go up to the adults service), I can vote at last so after all these years of studying politics at school I can put some of my knowledge to the test. If I wished I could buy cigarettes if I smoked (I am one of the few who was able to buy cigarettes aged 16 and then the law changed and I wasn’t allowed to so I can have two first times if I so wish), gamble in casinos, be sued or sue someone else and sit in a jury (I think the mental health rule about if you are in treatment more than once a week would apply to me though), claim benefits and get a tattoo.

Last line…

Fresh year, fresh start and all that garbage, hey. Well I am going to have a lovely day today at London zoo, which used to be one of my favourite places to go to when I lived in London and then I will be off to the pub to practice my legal alcohol buying skills.

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